4 Ways to Show Your Neurodivergent Partner Love
Valentine’s Day is just around the corner—a day dedicated to making your partner feel loved and appreciated. However, for those of us with neurodivergent partners, the typical Valentine's Day gestures like flowers and chocolate might not be the best way to make them feel special. That’s why today, we’re suggesting five different ways to show your neurodivergent partner how much you love them—not just on Valentine’s Day, but every day!
1. Understand Your Partner’s “Love Language”
Everyone has a unique way of giving and receiving affection, known as their love language. Understanding your partner’s love language—whether they’re neurodivergent or not—is essential to making sure they truly feel loved and appreciated. If you’re unsure what your love language is, or your partner’s, you can take a quiz here.
The five different love languages are:
Words of Affirmation: Communicate by encouraging, affirming, appreciating, and actively listening. Examples include sending an unexpected text, note, or card expressing your love and appreciation.
Physical Touch: Communicate with body language and touch. This could mean hugging, kissing, cuddling, or hand-holding.
Receiving Gifts: Communicate through thoughtful gestures and gifts that show your partner they’re a priority. Responding enthusiastically when they give you gifts or make an effort can also make them feel appreciated.
Quality Time: Communicate with focused, one-on-one conversations. This can include spending quality time together, creating special moments, no matter how big or small.
Acts of Service: Communicate by showing you care and want to make their life easier. Actions like making them breakfast, doing a chore they dislike, or tackling a task they’ve been putting off can show your support.
2. Plan an Activity Your Partner Enjoys
This could be something as simple as taking them for a walk in their favorite spot, going to dinner at their favorite restaurant, building a Lego set together, or even signing up for a class related to a hobby they enjoy. The key is to choose something you know they’ll love—even if it’s not your personal favorite.
3. Incorporate Their Routine
A great way to make your partner feel seen is to incorporate their routine into whatever plans you’ve made. This may mean you can't do a grand gesture, but your partner might actually appreciate the simplicity. Taking their routine into account can help reduce stress and avoid the discomfort that can come from unpredictability.
4. Be Okay with Valentine’s Day Not Being Their Thing
Not everyone enjoys the holiday, and that’s perfectly fine! If your partner feels more stress than excitement about Valentine’s Day, it’s okay to treat it as just another day. The most important thing is to respect their feelings and needs.
Hopefully, one or more of these tips will help you gain some insight into how to approach Valentine’s Day with your neurodivergent partner this year! If none of these seem to fit, or if you and your partner have trouble communicating what each other wants, consider booking a couples therapy appointment here.